Because that was my day from the get-go.


Hilly Wildwood with the jank retriever, 5.25 mi./ 42.04 min.

5 minute plank

According to, “jank” is an adjective meaning “broken; unnecessarily redundant, superfluous, or meaningless; stupid or ridiculously moronic; bootleg or of questionable quality.”

I always tell my students that Urban Dictionary is a quality resource, just like Wikipedia.

Well, my day started out with one of my students calling me out on having dried dog slobber across the side of my skirt. I should have taken a picture.

After a ridiculously taxing day at school, my world was so focused on savoring the last one of these:

The last of the pumpkin-shaped Yorks.

I had already eaten 7 while reading the tabloids (important stuff, like how Emily and Jef have officially broken up… didn’t see that one coming!) I was in mourning (over the loss of my chocolate) and on a sugar high, and I was awaiting the arrival of one of my new pair of shoes that I ordered yesterday, so I decided to have my favorite snack in the world:

Snack of champions.

Well, my shoes arrived:

Fashion first?

And I was so excited to try them out.  BTW, I ordered these from RoadRunner yesterday, and they came today!

But first, I had to transfer my Superfeet into my new kicks:

Superfeet loaded.

I use the green Superfeet because I have super-high arches. I’ve found that when you’re looking for a good running shoe, knowing how you plant your foot and how high your arches are, then buying the appropriate shoe and/or insole, can help you run pain-free.

So, after tricking out my ride, I was, once again, peer-pressured by my jank retriever to let her come with. Because it was late, and I had planned on taking the afternoon off to read tabloids (don’t worry… if you ever invite me to a dinner party, know that I at least listen to NPR, so I can at least pretend to be mature),  and I was caught off-guard by how quickly my shoes had arrived, I said yes.

This should have been enough to foreshadow the run to come:

At mile zero.

But I took her anyway. At mile 1.17 (according to my Garmin), just as we were running in the bike lane past the soccer fields, my jank retriever made a quick change of direction and caught herself on the other side of a light pole. Like a tool. Sounding like a car crash. And the kids (and parents) across the street ALL turned to see what happened. Good thing I was wearing my most inconspicuous shoes. They won’t see me coming again.

It was at that point that I realized that, at 5:45, it was Tuesday, and my kid has gymnastics on Tuesday. At 5:30. Maybe I’m the jank one.

Getting up the big hill was slow-going, but I was okay with it. Because everyone knows you shouldn’t eat dairy before a run. My dog and my snack were jank. I won’t tell you what happens… I’ll just let you figure that one out for yourself. Just make sure you’re near an Andy Gump or you’re wearing Depends.

I managed to make it home unscathed, and my jank piece of Sunshine was in need of a hug:

Photo credit to the husband.

He takes the best pictures. Maybe if I get a new camera, I’ll look less awkward.

On the plus side, this was happening while I was gone:

My own Naked Chef. Posing for the paps.

Do you like broccoli? I like mine baked with minced garlic, olive oil, and coarse sea sale. Delish. Even the kids like it:


Yep. I have a pretty ridiculously amazing husband. He knows that this is the way to my heart:

Salt and wine.

Yeah, I’m lucky. I know.

What did you have for dinner? What was the jank part of your day?